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VIOLATION

Violation! What comes to our mind when we hear that word? If you ask me, I’d say “Violation is consistently having my neighbour sleep with me when I was an underage girl”. Some of you might call it rape but I’d like to clear the air by saying it has happened so many times, and we would be belittling my case if we call it rape.

I have been raped, violated and exposed to adulthood, my mental health can’t handle. Should I speak up and let my mother get blood in her hands or try my possible best to stay away from my perpetrator? Believe me, none would bring me justice. My mental health is ruined, destroyed beyond repair. I just want to end it all.

I find myself craving for the intimacy I shared with him. Knowing fully well it is wrong, I can’t help but think about it most times. This has gone beyond violation, there’s an open page in my head that has to be shut forever but it seems impossible. My body is not in synch with my head anymore. It’s as though my head belongs to me and body to him. They don’t listen to me anymore.

I cry for help every night because I know what I want; to be free mentally and physically from the trauma. Who do I talk to? I no longer associate with my mates anymore, I want to be in the midst of adults but these adults judge! I might even get punished for being violated or even get blamed for associating with someone old enough to be my brother. That’s the society I live in, a society were women are called loose and men are cheered for being a man. Sad but true, this is the story of a woman in a man’s world.

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